David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
