VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
