talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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