a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
