No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
