everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
