LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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