wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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