never play flip cup with pint glasses
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
