Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
