that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
