We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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