thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
