She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
