Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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