I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
