this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
sarcasm needs its own font
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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