can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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