Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
