My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
