she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
