on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
