Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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