Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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