just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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