I just threw up on my dentist
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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