nut hugger
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
