this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
