i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
