the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
