piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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