Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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