Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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