The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
