You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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