Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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