hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
