i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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