she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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