Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so let's talk penis.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
