Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
