we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My dad just said "fuck circus"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
