I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
