He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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