bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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