There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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