so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
