i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
