I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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