I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
