My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
