I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
