So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
